THE EXPEDITION Chapter 1: Plot Twist (section 3)

Date: Winter 2019 Place: Calgary, Alberta

In which Ann thinks about what she can do 

My activist future didn’t look like much. I’m an odd little old gypsyhermit with more disabilities than makes sense, some of which go back to early childhood (assorted large physical problems, severe chronic pain, CPTSD, varying degrees of agoraphobia (sometimes it’s debilitating) and more etc’s and unanswered questions than even makes sense). I can’t work any more. I can’t do a lot of things any more and sometimes I can barely do anything at all. Some days I can’t even leave my home because of pain and/or anxiety… but I can’t stay put, and I can’t sit around watching the world end.

I’m not much use as a keyboard warrior, because the sitting and the computer both cause too much pain, and I’m nowhere near well connected enough or social-media-savvy enough for the job anyways. Nobody bothered answering any of my letters and calls, and I really didn’t expect any of them to ever listen. I’d be about as effective just literally banging my head on a wall.

Sometimes I can’t even get out to check the mail with my service and support dog, Mr Myrtle Sir. He’s a very special Jamaican Shepherd who’s been with me since he was born (in Jamaica, which is a whole ‘nother story). He was getting cabin fever in Calgary, having to stay in to stay warm enough, and because of having brought serious other-dog issues from the island. He is the dearest friend in the entire universe, and he makes my world and the world a better place, but he can’t make me ‘normal’ (thank goodness) and life is admittedly a bit less straightforward with a puppy.

The things I can do, and do well, have never been particularly practical useful skills. I’m an artist and a writer. I garden and study herbs and nutrition, nutraceuticals and natural health. I’ve fixed houses and things and friendships. I wander through life quietly tidying and contributing my quota of beautiful weird things to the universe and trying to be helpful. I’m kind of over-educated, with a bachelor of Fine Arts degree (including more Art History courses than an Art History major and more English courses than most majors and teachers), the equivalent of an Education degree (major in Art, minors in English and Career Technology Studies), and most of a masters degree in Human Ecology. The first qualifies me to be a waitress, which I’m no good at (and I doff my hat to all who are). The second taught me how utterly ****ed our education system is and how much I don’t want to work within it. The third, I would have finished, but my supervisor had to retire early for personal reasons and I couldn’t find another in that very small and narrow department. I’ve had various jobs I can’t do any more, and most recently, a successful career in disability services which I loved and would have done forever but also can’t do any more, because I’d have to be on the other side of that desk now. None of that added up to a plan for what to do now.

What else?

I can live as simple as a hermit, make do with anything, live on nearly nothing, sleep anywhere, and be happily alone for enormous lengths of time… by the time I was five, I could start a fire in the rain, build a passable shelter, and carry my weight on my back in the mountains for a week… I can talk the ears off a (non-GMO organic) cornfield (as long as there’s no crowds involved). I can walk into the unknown. I can, because of having spent my entire life doing everything I thought I was supposed to do in spite of pain and a pile of other things, continue. I can keep going (even when I probably shouldn’t). I can outstubborn just about anyone and anything. I have always had itchy feet. I have no strings attached. I can believe in hope against all odds. I can hold hope for those who haven’t any.[2]

So I meditated, with my little self-inventory tucked in my heart, and tried to stop thinking and frazzling, to be open to just finding a way to make my weird be useful… to find a pattern in my pieces… the pattern turned into a map… a map from where I was living then, in Calgary, to the Prime Minister’s office in Ottawa.

I decided to walk to Ottawa. It would be an expedition; I’d camp as I went, travelling and living with as little carbon footprint as possible, to show that these things can be done – if by weird broken old me, by anyone. I’d talk with regular people across the country, create as much attention and discussion on the issues as possible, hopefully catch the media…. and then pitch my tent right there at Parliament till the person who ought to be taking responsibility for leading us through this hears and starts doing that properly. I’d be right there in his face, every day, reminding him that this world is ending and that it’s his job to do everything he can to build a better way.

It’s a time-honoured tactic, to take issues to the seat of government and make them seen and heard. As well, walking as I meant to is a form of pilgrimage and prayer, a means of publicly and personally giving a very large chunk of one’s life for a purpose. Water Walkers often weave protection and prayer by walking entire shorelines. The Kogi Elders in Ecuador spun theirs into a fine thread of healing gold, carefully unwound and laid as they walked. The highways here are full of the tracks of those walking for causes.

I’d walk, to waken the nation.

I conjured up a facebook page and a plan. I wrote to my municipal and provincial political representatives, and the minister of parliament for my riding. I wrote to Justin Trudeau, asking him to commit to the same demands Extinction Rebellion is asking all over the world. I put a copy of my letter online, collecting signatures. I haven’t delivered it yet, as I begin writing here, but there’s still a lot of ‘meanwhile’ to this story and it certainly isn’t finished as I sit writing.

Petition is here and still needs more signatures!

2 I started a weekly HopeHolding group with friends and TreeSisters and lovely people I'd never met, and although the former facebook page for that has lapsed, it will begin again.

#changingtheworld